HONG KONG DISNEYLAND

OVERVIEW
Realizing that there are billions of Disney-loving people in China who may not have the cash flow to get to California or Florida, Disney wisely decided to build their next park in one of China’s major economic centers: Hong Kong. The park is set to open September 12, 2005, but being the hard-working investigators we are, we decided we’d do a little digging to get the lowdown on Disney’s newest park.

Similar to the Tokyo Disneyland Resort, Hong Kong Disneyland is build on “reclaimed land” (which is a nice way of saying “landfill”) on Hong Kong’s Lantau Island. The first thing visitors are likely to notice when they arrive is that the park is tiny. In fact, it’s the smallest of all the Magic Kingdoms. Size queens beware.

When the parks opens, it will have four lands: Main Street, U.S.A., Tomorrowland, Fantasyland, and Adventureland. When we asked the reps why there was no Frontierland, they responded: “The design of the park is based on extensive and in depth research on the preferences of our customers and we believe that our guests will go through a magical experience inside our Park.” Well, that clears it all up. We were secretly hoping there would be a Mulan-land, as Eddie loves any opportunity to bind his feet. There will also be two hotels serving the resort, both of which are currently taking reservations.

Unlike Tokyo, where American cuisine rules, based on what we can tell, the Chinese influence will dominate in the parks, with American fare being offered only in special locations.

Please remember that all the opinions and judgements we are making at this time are based purely on speculation as obviously neither of us has been able to master time travel to see what the park will be like.

HONG KONG DISNEYLAND


Itty Bitty Sleeping Beauty Castle
©Disney
Obviously we can’t judge this park until it opens. But there’s much negative buzz about this little park mainly because, well, it’s little. And lacking major attractions. (Noticeably absent are Pirates of the Caribbean, The Haunted Mansion, Splash Mountain, Small World, and Big Thunder Mountain.) That said, we are hoping that what they lack in stuff to do, they make up for in atmosphere—and more stuff down the road.
MAIN STREET, U.S.A.
Walking into the gates of Hong Kong Disneyland you may swear you were back in Anaheim. There’s the Emporium! City Hall! The railroad station! Yes indeed, it seems like they are doing a nice job of recreating Disneyland’s main drag (and we’re not talking about Timon in a hula skirt). Sure enough, the Hong Kong Disneyland Railroad will take you on a trip around the entire park. You can pick up trinkets at the Crystal

Main Street, U.S.A. ©Disney
Arts & Collectibles Shop. And you can get a bite at the Plaza Inn. Of course, here the Plaza Inn serves classic Cantonese cuisine instead of Cobb salads, but you catch our drift. The only big difference on Main Street (well, besides all the Chinese people working there) are the Main Street Vehicles here which will include a Paddy Wagon (for all the boys caught doing naughty things in the lavatory, we are sure) and a Main Street Taxi (which Jeffrey could use after one too many cocktails).

Fantasyland ©Disney
FANTASYLAND
From Main Street, Disneyland fans will see another familiar site: Sleeping Beauty Castle. Yep, instead of building one of those newfangled, giant castles, they stuck with the original Anaheim version. You know, the one that looks like someone accidentally washed it in hot water and then stuck it in the drier? (Hey, we love the original castle, but it’s small!) From what we can tell, it looks like Hong Kong is getting numerous attractions that already exist in both U.S. parks.
However, we don’t know if their The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh ride will be similar to Disneyland’s stinky version or Orlando’s more enjoyable ride. (You can bet, they won’t get anything like what exists in Tokyo.) There will also be a Mad Hatter Tea Cups, Dumbo the Flying Elephant, Cinderella Carousel, a stop for the Hong Kong Disneyland Railroad, and the fantastic Mickey’s PhilharMagic. Here they actually call Snow White Grotto (where there’s a wishing well and statues of Snow and the Dwarfs) an attraction, which we find funny. There will also be the Fantasy Gardens, which look stunning in renderings and will serve as a character greeting area. As for dining there’s the Royal Banquet Hall, which boasts “show kitchens” (we can only hope there are singing waiters… not), and Clopin’s Festival of Foods, a Chinese food court with a French name.
TOMORROWLAND
Based on what they’re offering, it looks like tomorrow is pretty sparse. You can ride Space Mountain, Buzz Lightyear’s Astro Blasters, or the Orbitron (the Astro Orbiters). Granted, these are all fine attractions, but where’s Star Tours? Or Autopia? Heck, we’d even take Honey, I Shrunk the Audience. For those seeking stateside cuisine, the Starliner Diner offers American fast food with “a twist of Asian flavor.” (French fries with soy sauce, anyone?)

Tomorrowland ©Disney

Adventureland ©Disney
ADVENTURELAND
It seems like they have combined some aspects of Frontierland with Adventureland here. Instead of the Rivers of American, you get the Rivers of Adventure. Instead of Tom Saywer Island, you get Tarzan’s Treehouse, which, while similar to Disneyland’s version, is apparently on an island. We bet, however, the hot jungle boy is never home. It’s always Jane greeting us. Never Tarzan. We’re a little bitter. (Although Jane does provide a lovely photo op for the ladies!) So along with
Tarzan’s Treehouse, there are the Rafts to Tarzan’s Treehouse (which here counts as another attraction). There’s also the Jungle River Cruise, which makes us happy. An especially great addition to the park is the Festival of the Lion King, our favorite park show ever. We are keeping our fingers crossed for cute tumble monkeys in lycra. Yes, we are just that shallow. Sadly, they consider the Liki Tikis (tiki statues that shoot water at passersby) an attraction. Soon, the restrooms will be called attractions as well. Of course, for Eddie, they already are.
RESORT HOTELS
For opening, there will be two resort hotels, and we have to say, they look pretty amazing. It may be worth going to China just to stay there! The Hong Kong Disneyland Hotel and Disney’s Hollywood Hotel.

Disneyland Hotel: If it's half this stunning in real life, we're sold. ©Disney
HONG KONG DISNEYLAND HOTEL
The renderings of this place make it look more like Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort in Orlando and the Disneyland Hotel in Paris. Just gorgeous. The Victorian-style hotel has rooms fit for a princess (or a queen… or a tacky whore… really, anyone will like them) with 4-poster beds, flat screen televisions, high-speed Internet access, and complimentary mini-bars! (That last fact alone has Jeffrey booking a stay.) As with all Disney hotels, rooms go
from very nice to crazy-go-nuts amazing, with park views and ocean views. They also have their version of concierge rooms called Kingdom Club Rooms, where you get your own personal butler “ready to oblige your every whim.” We are hoping Swedish massages aren’t out of the question. Rates run from about $200 (depending on the HK to US dollar conversion) for the most basic room at an off-peak rate to $870 a night for their Kingdom Suite. The hotel has two main restaurants, the table service Crystal Lotus and the buffet Enchanted Garden Restaurant (which offers character dining). There’s a spa, gym, pool, and beauty salon for all to enjoy. And there’s apparently something called Mickey Maze Garden, which sounds like it might be fun to get lost in with a friend, if ya know what we mean.
DISNEY’S HOLLYWOOD HOTEL
Through the Walt Disney Studio gate lies this massive, sleek structure. This 600-room art deco hotel is themed to, duh, the glitter and glitz of Tinseltown’s Golden Age. Eddie already has his turban ready. This is actually the less fab of the two hotels, with more sedate guestrooms, but they feature flat screen TVs. And you can choose from three views: garden, sea, or park. Rates here are much more reasonable as well, with off-peak Garden View rooms starting around $130 a night and going up to $230 for a peak Sea View room. There are several restaurants including Chef Mickey, which we love in Florida. While there’s no spa, you can take a dip in the piano-shaped swimming pool to cool off.

If this is Hollywood, where are all the drag queen prostitutes? ©Disney

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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